Moving on to another phase

Well here I am 4 months after surgery and not having any relief from my periods or pregnant. I will be hearing from a specialist in about a week about my options if they are similar to that of my RE I will be moving on to IVF in October. I am SCARED to death. I just don't know what I'll do if it doesn't work.

Trying new things

I know it's been a while since I last wrote...trying to keep my mind occupied.
I am 3 months post surgery and feeling good. My periods are still pretty painful, not much has changed there. I am taking multiple vitamins/herbs, acupuncture, yoga and meditation. I feel like a totally different person than who I am, or who I want to be. I don't feel like myself anymore...I want to go back to being a child and not have to worry about my health or bills. 2010-2011 have been the harderst years of my life, emotionally and physically. Hopefully there is good news coming soon.

Black Sheep

I can't help but feel like a black sheep right now. I look around and see all these PG women. I see all my friends with their kids and it just makes me feel so out of place. I'm took a break last month from ttc, and now we are back to it full force. I hope and PRAY this happens this month...this is the hardest thing I will ever go through.

Well we have decided to take a "medical break". We are still going to "do it" just no more Dr's no more appt's, just prayer and hope. AF visted me today, and I am exhausted..I can't do this another month...so we are going to take a break, travel and enjoy life and each other's company!

It's the weekend, and I feel great! I had my 2nd acupuncture tx today...and it went awesome. I'm officially in the 2ww. I will prob start testing 12 DPO just b/c I'm too impatient to wait for AF lol. My anniversary is coming up and I can't wait to get away to relax and spend quality time with the hubby! I won't have much to update on until AF either comes this month or finally decides to pack up and leave for 9 months!

I had my first Acupuncture tx today. I went very well. I felt 6 of the 12 needles so it's not totally painless, it feels like a needle going into your body, just as I figured lol. I will be seeing her twice a month. She has seen pt's with Endo and said she has had very good results. I should be O this week so I'm not going to have much to report until a couple weeks from now.

I have my first acupuncture appt tomorrow. I am soooo excited to get this started! I've heard great things about helping Endo with acupuncture...hopefully I'll be one of the success stories! DH and I have been talking about what to do for our 5 year anniversary next month. I think we are just going to take a weekend trip to get away and hopefully de-stress. I love spending time with him and I know that once we do have children we will want this alone time back: ) I'm on my last day of medication and I have had 2 really bad headaches and hot flashes too. I am ready for this week to be over. Next week is ovulation week..that's my favorite week ; )

Had my appt today with my Dr for blood work. The tests came back normal so that's one last thing to worry about. I started Femara today and go in next Wed to make sure I am responding to it the way I should be. Crossing my fingers and toes and praying very hard this is my cycle!

Follow up appt from surgery

Well I had my follow up appt on Tuesday and it was mainly good news. The Dr suggested we try Femara for 3 cycles and try to get PG. If no pregnancy is achieved than Lupron is the next plan of attack..Lupron apparently "starves" the Endo so that I can be healthier and hopefully then get PG. I also asked him about Acupuncture and he agreed that it's a great idea to try. So I have my first appt set up for next Sat. I've been taking all 5 of my vitamins daily, exercising daily, trying to eat better, and now acupuncture so hopefully with all of this we have success!
The only bit of bad news was that he wasn't able to remove the endo from my small intestines, it's just a spot right now but it will continue to grow : ( eventually I will have to go back into surgery and have it removed. Not looking forward to that! So now I am just waiting for my next cycle to start...I'm 3 days late, Dr said it could take up to 2 weeks to get regular again...

Research

I have researched Endo for almost 2 weeks straight and I feel as if I have no more to learn about it. I went to Barnes and Noble today to read up on Endo, I was there for an hour and didn't learn anything new. At this point I think it's fair to say I really just need to speak with our Dr about our options and see what our new gameplan will be. I trust him to do what he thinks will be best for us. We have been praying hard about this, so I know God will take us down the right path.

Ok ready for my Second Post:

I married my High School Sweetheart in June 2005. BEST day of my life! We took a fabulous honeymoon to the Bahamas where we got to swim with the Dolphins, and spend a week at the most beautiful resort I'll probably ever get to see again. We knew we weren't ready to start a family for a while, I was only 23 and still in college. I was thinking by the time I was 25 I would be ready for children, I was wrong lol. When I hit 25 I finally had a great paying career and the only thing on my mind was traveling, decorating my new home, and spending time with my husband. Which is what we did. Shortly after my 27 birthday I wanted to see the Dr to make sure I was in tip top shape to be trying for a child. All of our tests came back with good results. After a few months of "not preventing pregnancy" I knew something else was wrong. I decided the only definite way to know if there was a problem was to do the surgery so we scheduled our surgery for 4-14-10. That is the day that has changed my life forever. My diagnosis was STAGE III endometriosis. Stage IV is the worst. AAAAHHH WHY GOD WHY! I had endo on my bladder, uterus, L tube, and both ovaries, my entire appendix was covered so they removed it. WTH!!! I was in shock....to say the very least. I immediately started looking up endometriosis and reading anything I could on the subject. Endo is a disease without a cure. It will grow back, and it could grow back worse than before. Changing your diet may help but it won't cure it, just suppress it. I had SOOOO much going on in my head, I went though every emotion possible for the week following surgery. I am now 10 days past surgery and feeling physically a lot better, finally. I see my Dr on May 4 and I have a ton of questions for him.

April 24, 2010 My first post

Well I don't think I know how this whole blog thing works yet, but I'm going to start writing anyways.

I'm going to go waaaaay back to when I was a child so be ready for some history. I LOVED my childhood and was a tomboy to the T, I loved bikes, dirt, gi joe's, guns, forts, and anything that involved helping my dad outside. I never wanted to grow up, I was in Neverland, I wanted to stay a child forever. I didn't want responsibility or bills or boys or anything else that came along with growing up. That day ended when I was 11. I know short-lived right?...Well my Aunt Flow visited me at a very young age. I felt as if I had been robbed of my childhood. I was one of 2 girls in my class to start. AAAHH why me.. So I began my new "adult" life with a bad taste in my mouth. From my very first visit from AF I had cramps that brought me to my knees, literally. The pain was something out of a horror film, no exaggeration...I really felt as if something was trying to make its way out of my stomach. My mom assured me that this was normal, that she too had cramps in her teen years. This is just something that comes with women hood I was told...WHY GOD WHY make me a boy! So for 2 days a month I wouldn't be able to move, I'd have to miss school, lay on my bed with heating pads on my stomach, and Aleve at the bedside. As I got older it got worse, gradually, but definitely worse. I told my Pediatrician about the pain who assured me this was "normal" then as I got older my Dr would just prescribe me a higher dose medication and send me on my way. My Dr also put me on 3 different types of birth control from age 13-17 with no luck, the pain never got better. This post has carried on for long enough...more later : )